Walking with The Cinemile
Amy Adams does mushrooms and goes deep into her coffee table
People walk around LA (NO THEY DON’T SILLY)
You realise you’d like to smell Zac Efron. Damn it Zac
Clear eyes, full hearts, Friday Night Lights
Where we learn, yet again, that the best way to have a meaningful relationship with a woman is to cut her f*cking head off.
Boy seeking bitch slap
Free lobotomy with every episode
The haunting tale of a young boy in the back of a van, with nothing but Twitter to educate him.
Hatherine Keigl has a lot to answer for.
Nerds, HBO style.
FUCK YOU, HUMANITY.
HOW DARE THIS FILM BE QUITE GOOD
Warning: Incredulous eyebrow ache guaranteed
Attack of the clones
3 out of 4 people agreed this was the worst film they’d ever seen (the 4th was asleep).
This is to films as Nespresso is to coffee – weak
A hearty hat tip to whoever coined the term ‘McConaughaissance’
This is very good. Look! We said something nice!
It’s like sitting on a bus that is taking a scenic route, you’re happy to look out the window, but you’re happier when it gets to your stop.
The opposite of a ‘must see’
Did you just grab my ass?
I wonder what Steve Buscemi looks like when he’s fucking, said no one, ever.
One of those films nobody really understands so they say it’s amazing in case they look stupid.
Press play, fast forward for two hours, the end.
The mediocre Burt Snoozeystone
Ha ha – Magic is coming? No, silly, Winter is coming, magic went home ages ago
This review has porn in it! and exclamation marks! and outside voices!
It’s a shame John Cusack didn’t show up and get killed, he still owes us for 2012.
I can’t stop thinking about this film
Jason Sudeikis, go home.
Refreshing and baffling in equal measure – like a margarita
Huh? Is that… Wait… What?
No one cares Tom, No one.
Bacon on a bike
Emma Watson done a burgle – Pirate Jude
If there’s a drug that makes Bradley Cooper interesting, you should take it before watching this
Expect the expected and have low expectations.
Go home Hollywood, you’re drunk
FYI at no point does anyone make any reference to erections, but Patrick Wilson is in it (boner)
Heavy on the rom, light on the com; the cinematic equivalant of knitted Alpaca slippers
The Hangover (Part meh)
How to make feminists cross and everyone else yawn
The third best Star Trek film, after Star Trek 1 and Galaxy Quest