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Low budget Ellen Page is a witch and (I had to chose between; Edward Furlong who has been unsealed from his man-sized Tupperware to appear in this OR even lower budget Leonardo DiCaprio OR) some dude with a super-wide mouth, fancies her and together they try and get rid of a curse that will turn her into a horny slut (or ‘baddy’) when she’s 16.

My problem is the willfully misguided decision to save money on Ellen Page and wide face, and spunk it all on Jeremy Irons and Emma Thompson. Hey, casting director, good decision, the kids will totes go bonkers at the box office for them.

The feminists got upset because the film implies that the difference between good and evil is basically sex drive, but witches have been sexy since The Craft so I think the film has bigger problems.

I think it’s outrageous that films like this teach young people that only boys with ambition (and too many teeth) or teen-slut witches read Kurt Vonnegut and Bukowski. What about all the small town, narrow minded, religious zealot hicks who read progressive sci-fi writers and high-functioning alcoholics? Huh? Where’s the coming-of-age fantasy biopic about them tipping cows and getting jobs in the post office which they don’t actually mind? (Oh wait, there’s Doc Hollywood, scrap that).

This is the kind of film that causes arguments in my house because nobody except me wants to watch it and I want everyone to fuck off and leave me alone.

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