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The best thing about being a non-boy and a non-geek is that I am free to enjoy comic book / superhero stuff without any of the pressures associate with playing World Of Walmart or whatever. It’s the same with guns, cars and porn, I can drive ’em and shoot ’em and watch ’em and I never have to know anything more than how big it was, what colour it came in and how much I liked it.

Yay for me.

I don’t have a lot of time for cars, guns or porn, but I heart the shit out of superheroes.

Spiderman is my favourite, because I like the merchandise and fancied Tobey Maguire in the noughties and Andrew Garfield in the tensies (tensies? Is that a thing? The twinks? The tweens?)

I also LOVE Batman because of Christopher Nolan and high contrast, and I like Thor because he’s super camp. Also the Hulk is OK (I kind of feel like Captain America would be inherently if mildly racist and that Superman would be a really boring dinner guest and a terrible kisser).

I’ve been looking forward to Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D a lot. I wanted to wait until there were at least three because (say it with me popcorn pirates) ‘it’s not fair to judge a boxset by the pilot’ but I couldn’t wait because I didn’t want to…

There is a lot of digression in this review.

Agent Phil Coulson is back (yay) and
‘he really doesn’t know, does he?’
‘No, and he never can.’
BUT WE CAN, can’t we? WHEN CAN WE KNOW? I WANNA KNOW NOWWWWW.

I’ve loved Coulson since Ironman 1, because that’s the first time I saw him, because I don’t actually read comics, I read books and watch comics on TV.

They have a cheap Keira Knightley doing science, which is good because Keira proper is massively overpriced and over-irritating and cheap Keira is working really hard for her buck.

I’m excited for the next one and I realllllly hope they don’t cancel it before I can get all the way in (Don’t Trust The B in Apartment 23, Penn 1600, BOSS).

EEEeeeep.

That’s my excited girl noise.

Sexism!

YAY.

Above is a ‘girl’ doing a ‘review’ I got to 27 seconds but she likes comics proper so maybe you’re interested in her perspective.

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