That Awkward Moment

You realise you’d like to smell Zac Efron. Damn it Zac

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Entourage

Free lobotomy with every episode

Chef

The haunting tale of a young boy in the back of a van, with nothing but Twitter to educate him.

Movie 43

FUCK YOU, HUMANITY.

A Night At The Roxbury

Did you just grab my ass?

The Incredible Burt Wonderstone

The mediocre Burt Snoozeystone

Quicksilver

Bacon on a bike

Iron Man 3

The most concise review you will ever read.

Pieces Of April

It looks like her boob leaked a latte

C’Mon Man

Edited by a sociopath with ADHD with the rushes from the bin. Wow.

Vamps

The film equivalent of a Saturday afternoon in H&M on Oxford Street

Beauty And The Briefcase

Wow. It’s like someone asked my 74-year-old uncle who ‘likes ’em young’ to write a film about a woman! who gets a job! This is feminism’s worst nightmare, impressively bad and not in a good way

Dredd

Warning: May contain nerds

Real Steel

Foxy boxing robots. So Saturday…

Drive

Pffffft…

Rubber

Wheel surreal…

Branded

Yikes…

God Bless America

It’s not subtle, but Fuck subtle…

Step Up

Is Channing a verb?..

Rock Star

Are you 11 years old and gagging for a career in music? Oh my god they made a film about your wet dream where you’re Marky Mark but you’re talented and your manager is Jen.if.er. Aniston.

21 Jump Street

There is nothing surprising about this movie, except that it’s funny…

Project X

Party like you’re 19 or watch a movie about it like you’re 30…

Chronicle

A high school, hand-cam, super powers film. No Lycra needed…

Pitch Perfect

Billing this as ‘Bridesmaids meets Ted’ is just fucking weird, it’s more like Bring It On meets Glee with a soundtrack that they got from a gym…

Pooti Tang

‘Pootie Tang will whip yo butt so bad, you can write it off on yo taxes’

Party Girl

He he hello. Why hasn’t anyone outside the New York gay scene ever heard of this film? For shame straight English people, educate yourselves immediately…

Scott Pilgrim Vs The World

Kaboom, pow, blammo. thumb up…