I have recently decided that I want to look at Chris Pratt’s face a lot. Like, as much as possible.
He’s only in Zero Dark-I-Heart-Torture-30 for about 10 minutes and he doesn’t look surprised at any point (his surprised face is the one that makes me press my ‘pause button’ you dig)? So I IMDB’d it and thought, what the hell, I’m a functioning alcoholic, a failed novelist and it’s 4 days until I get paid, I have literally nothing better to do, I’ll watch Movie 43.
Turns out I did have something better to do, because pulling dry bits off my feet and sneaking them into a plate of cookies for my boss would have been time much better spent.
Just to make sure you understand how horrible this is, I would rather eat foot-cak cookies than watch this ever ever ever again.
Cinematic proof that humanity is doomed and deserves the very worst that nature, the universe and karma can throw at it.
popcorn pirate 