I have recently decided that I want to look at Chris Pratt’s face a lot. Like, as much as possible.
He’s only in Zero Dark-I-Heart-Torture-30 for about 10 minutes and he doesn’t look surprised at any point (his surprised face is the one that makes me press my ‘pause button’ you dig)? So I IMDB’d it and thought, what the hell, I’m a functioning alcoholic, a failed novelist and it’s 4 days until I get paid, I have literally nothing better to do, I’ll watch Movie 43.
Turns out I did have something better to do, because pulling dry bits off my feet and sneaking them into a plate of cookies for my boss would have been time much better spent.
Just to make sure you understand how horrible this is, I would rather eat foot-cak cookies than watch this ever ever ever again.
Cinematic proof that humanity is doomed and deserves the very worst that nature, the universe and karma can throw at it.