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Bike dancing. Coming soon to a hospital near you.

In this film the main character fucks up at his wanky suity job and has to become a bike messenger. Who hasn’t been there?

It smells a bit like Flashdance (have we Popcorn Pirated that one yet? No? Ok, ON IT) what with all the dance sequences. It has added Kevin Bacon and a bit of Laurence Fishburne who took me a while to recognise and made me feel a bit racist with Ricky Gervais’ familiar dilemma of ‘is that the dude from the matrix or Samuel L Jackson?’ It gets a bit weird, there’s drug dealing, overly choreographed races, even I lost interest. It’s well 80s and might make you think you fancy Kevin Bacon so you’ll get a shock when you see him in the current EE adverts because he’s got old as hell.

This is a background film to watch while you do other things. Fixing punctures, reapplying bar tape, taking off ill thought out, impulse applied spokey dokeys (man those noisy things are a bitch to get off) are just some suggestions in case you like doing things to theme.

If like me you are watching it because you like bikes and ballet save yourself some time and just watch these two scenes.

If you are watching for the bike porn, Bacon rides a singlespeed 1984 Raleigh Competition bike, which is tweaked throughout.

So if anyone wants to know how I broke my face, this film will be probably be responsible.

-Jude Brosnan

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