True popcorn piracy will take you to some dark places. Friday nights in are not the same for us as they are for you. That’s because we’re angry, we’re sadistic and we’re determined to ruin even the simple pleasure that is chilling the fuck out and being gently entertained, preferably by writers with nimble minds, directors of high concepts and actors with neurosis that is so severe it means we don’t even notice they’re actors but we like the way watching them prance about makes us feel.
That’s what popcorn piracy is, it’s taking one for the team, it’s taking risks, it’s pressing play on the unknown just in case… Just in case IMDB has got it wrong, just in case this gem that looks like a boiled potato left out to rot is actually a precious jewel waiting for some starving arsehole to polish it up.
We are the starving arseholes of the movie world, we will watch anything and once in a while, in a precious moment of sheer luck, we will discover America.
Then we will kill everyone in it and make C’Mon Man out of toilet roll and old Fairy Liquid bottles.
To quote Liz Lemon (again)
WHAT THE WAHHHT?
* I like my metaphors like I like my nuts