Drive

The first 5 minutes is brilliant; a badass driving motherfucker yeah boy movie and you’re all like ‘this is going to be so. awesome.’

Then the next two hours is about Ryan Gosling not driving a car and instead being a weird peado mechanic with learning difficulties, chewing a fucking toothpick and being really inappropriate in an 80’s jacket. No Gosling, NO. They shouldn’t have called it Drive, they should have called it Chew*

I know loads of people thought this film was ‘awesome’ but to them I say – you are wrong, it’s shit, change yourself, clearly your opinions are formed outside of your faculty for critical thinking. Fix up. Just because The Fast And The Furious is your frame of reference doesn’t mean try-hard high-brow pseudo-intellectual is as good as it gets. Pffft.

The soundtrack is ok though.

*another suggestion for a name sent to me was: The Lame Vacant Cliché Bullshit Sociopathic Creepily Ingratiating Himself to Children Unconvincing Waste of Time. But that isn’t that catchy.